The Birth of The Amazing Journey
Cool photo, right?
This was taken in December 2017. It is the single most transformational moment in my life. And I don't say that lightly.
To some degree, we all know our thoughts create our reality. As an avid collector of quotes, I've had it happen many times. A quote or powerful statement will pop into my field of awareness, it sticks in my head for a while...and *poof*, one day that thought becomes manifest. This is exactly what happened that day in late December.
In June I rented a condo in Michigan and moved my Dad in with me. He was in a place where he was not able to do many things for himself, needed assistance, but definitely not ready for a nursing facility.
I left my home in the Rocky Mountains to be roommates with my Dad, and to lend a hand where I could. He was a very independent guy and did many things for himself. The big things were what he required help with, like making the bed after the sheets were washed, transportation to doctors’ appointments and grocery shopping.
For most of our time together, he would accompany me during the shopping trips. He used a wheeled walker, which he referred to as his Cadillac. I actually bought a logo decal for that walker. The smile on his face when he saw his Cadillac the following morning was priceless.He would call me a "nut" after such mischief. My reply was always, “the nut doesn’t fall far from the tree”, and we would laugh. Dad’s laugh was infectious.
But I digress. Back to the photo:
Three months into my new living arrangements, my husband of 22 years came to the condo, sat me down, and said, “I’m done.” He used those very words. I looked at him in what I can only imagine was the most dumbfounded look, and asked, “You’re WHAT?” "I’m done", he repeated. He had been living in another city, having returned to his family business a couple of years back. We saw each other less than 10 days a month, and although time apart was more difficult that either of us imagined, I always believed the marriage would survive.
It did not.
The divorce “request” was made in early September. By the following February, no action had been taken on his part, so I took matters into my own hands and made an appointment with an attorney. The weather conditions of the day of the meeting aligned with my mood. It was close to the worst snow day of the season. Blizzard-like conditions moved into eastern Michigan.
And the point again? Oh yes, the person I was becoming...
With this paper prominently planted on my bathroom mirror, reminding me many times a day to cut free from the limiting beliefs of society's norm, things really did begin to fall away. I found my beliefs shifting. As they did, I found myself associating with people who were doing what I wanted to do and achieving what I wanted to achieve. I found myself interested in life beyond simple survival. I wanted to thrive.
More and more layers were falling away. It felt as if I were peeling an onion to get to the heart. In essence, that is precisely what was occurring. Layers of emotions, people and things which I saw fit to shield and surround myself with at one time were finally sloughing off. With each loss-event, the pain, sadness or grief became less. Ultimately, when faced with another "loss", I found I was able to bless it and thank it for it's lesson and send it on it's way. Sometimes I really have to dig deep to find the lesson, but know that it is there. With each "loss", I feel freer. Life is simpler. Now, there is time to thrive.
These are the beginnings a winding and intricate journey to where I am today. As I write this, I sit in a Cyclades-style studio house on the Greek island of Ydra. I came to the islands early in 2020 seeking a place to call home, in a wide open world, brimming with possibilities. I now find myself here indefinitely in a world pandemic lockdown situation.
My how things change.
The Next Fragment:
Post-Father's Day Reminiscence